I am a morning person… that is well known. The 4am to 4pm shift I worked while on the box was just perfect for me. Then I moved into dispatch and was offered three shifts to choose from. 7p-7a, 5:45p-5:45a and 8a-8p. I decided to take the 5:45p shift because the 8a shift would make me come to the barn so late. I didn’t want to wake up the owner’s kids at freaking 9-9:30pm and at winter it will be pitch dark. So I thought that I would try and see how my body would do.
The answer was not very well. I come home from work around 6:45am, almost fall asleep at the wheel every morning, am in bed by 7am most of the time. But my body has an internal clock that wakes me up between 9:30 and 10 am every damn morning. And after that is impossible for me to go back to sleep. I have a couple of choices at that point… stay in bed and rotate like a drill and get more anxiety and stress over not being able to sleep or get up and be productive. Most of the time I choose to get up. I get my walk in and I get some time for my “secret project” which is great. The more time I can spend on it the faster I get done with it. But to only have 2-3, maybe 4 hours of sleep for several days and then pull long 12 hour shifts at night is wearing my body out completely. During the last month I’ve consumed more Excedrin than I’ve ever done in my life to get rid of the pain and aches I have. I am dizzy and tired which affects my mood and mental health very badly.

Two weeks ago I was verbally advised about an open shift on days that would come open. 7a-7p. It had been announced in an email but I did not get that email, therefore I assumed that I was not eligible to bid on the shift. I didn’t do anything about it either because I had just started the “secret project” and come into that routine of time managing it all. And when the “secret project” is completed it won’t matter what shift i work… I thought i could fight it out for another 2-4 months on nights.

It all changed yesterday though. Don’t ask me how I made it home in one piece. I don’t even remember the road from Canton and home. But my car was parked without damages outside my door. I made it inside the house and I know that it was about 6:45am. The next thing I know is at 11:30am I wake up on the floor in my living room. I still had my backpack on my back, my other bag is still wrapped around my arm. I have a major headache and I am so dizzy. I believe this is how you feel when you’re hungover maybe?
I got up on my feet and into the kitchen. Got me two toasts to eat so at least I had something. Then I just sat for over an hour in my recliner staring out in the air. Trying to get some sense to what happened and figure out what to do next. Had to head over to the horses to check on them. Felt that was about what I could accomplish today.
On my way there I got a phone call from our director. He had just realized that I had been left out of the email two weeks ago and was wondering if I was interested. So many thoughts through my head. I don’t know how no one else had already won the bid. I am super low on the seniority list right now. I was not expecting this phone call as I knew the deadline had passed as well. But I wanted to think through this for a little bit as I had set up my mind of fighting through a couple of months. But after what happened this morning, was that so wise to do? I put pro’s and con’s on the list and decided to actually put in a bid for it. I can still manage the “secret project” on my days off, I may be delayed 2-3 weeks but that’s not a big deal. It’s not like I have a deadline or responsibility to anyone else than myself. So I called him back and said that I would put in a bid for it and in the same time I sent off an email with an official bid. I knew that I won the bid right away (also how I figured no one else bid on it). The more i think about it the happier I am that I did it, and that I also got it. Because later in the afternoon it happened again. I was standing up from my chair and down I went. But this time I was maybe out for a couple of minutes at the most. But I hit my head hard and now have a laceration and knot on the side of my head. I feel like a unicorn 🦄. That just made it more clear that i had done the right thing with bidding on it. It was like I got a second chance so to say, and I took it.

I don’t know exactly when I will move to dayshift. I was told it may take a couple of weeks… whatever that means. But it will come sooner than later thankfully. My days on nights are counted thankfully.