Working nights is killing me. I am a morning person and have always been. The 4a to 4p shift was perfect for me. But that is no choice right now. 5:45p to 5:45a is when I work right now. The problem is my body has an internal clock that wakes me up at 10 am every day, regardless of when I went to bed. This results in me getting about 2-3 hours of sleep between my shifts. Then I can stay in bed and try to sleep and roll around in bed like a spinning elephant getting more frustrated and stressed that I can’t sleep. Or I can get out of bed and go for a walk and clean my brain. That’s what I’ve done. I am sitting so much at work I really need to move and walk. But all this results in the (few) days I’m off goes to recovery. I am often so exhausted I can’t do anything physical. I am just sitting in my recliner or on my bed staring into the air unable to move. That complete exhausted feeling is not fun! I came home Friday morning after a shift from hell. Got 3 hours of sleep and that was it. Most of the day tried to read things for work and another project but I couldn’t. My mind was going off thinking about old shit that made me start crying. Things that normally wouldn’t bother me but just because I was so tired and therefore sensitive, I couldn’t stop the tears.

But… here is the thing. I have a plan. I am not going to reveal the entire plan but what I can say is that I have started taking online classes to get some kind of certification so I can get out of this situation. Hopefully I will be finished in the fall. My plan is then to take a part time job with another EMS service so I can get back on the truck again because that’s where I want to be and feel I belong. So even though night shift is killing me, it is right now the best option for me because I have time to study for about an hour to maybe two every day.

This is actually nothing I am talking about publically… weird you may think but yeah, you’re welcome. If you read this blog you are a VIP. You know that changes is in the horizon and that is more than a lot of people. There are only 4 people right now in this world who know what classes I actually take… I have chosen to do this way to lessen the pressure of me. It will be a little surprise maybe but I doubt that anyone first of all reads this, secondly care enough about what I do and don’t so… But now you know why it is a little quiet from me for a little bit. All my time off goes to studying so I can get out of the dungeon as fast as possible.

All animals are doing well. Sadly, Dallas’ summer eczema is back… I am trying another thing this year see if it works. She hates spray bottles and I’ll tell you… She is a big horse on her hind legs in a stall! And she knows her power.
I was watching the farm last week when the Field family was out of town. Those pigs 🐷 🐷 They have never really liked me until now because I gave them food. Penny and Siqua… not sure I spell his name correctly but whatever… They are just so cute.
Took some pictures from the farm, realized that Dallas never made it into any of them… ooops… well she is okay too!