It is nothing new that I don’t like cold weather. But it’s not just that I don’t like it, my body doesn’t handle it very well. Cold temperatures doesn’t mean that I am cold and shivering. It gives me a painful burning in my muscles and my blood pressure bottoms out on me. I found a set of clothes last year that is kind of pants and shirt as compression clothes that helps a lot to keep my blood pressure going and that has helped tremendously.

But on Wednesday morning it didn’t matter what I did. I remember waking up and getting ready for work. I had a headache which I usually don’t have but it wasn’t severe enough to even think about calling in sick. I remember packing my food but I don’t remember leaving the house. But my Ring doorbell told me at 3:00 am I left the house…

As you can see I am leaning up towards the wall for a couple of seconds so I must have felt something was wrong, or it was just the cold temperatures hitting me hard. It was 30 degrees outside this morning, thankfully it was dry! I’m kind of mad that the doorbell didn’t catch the actual fall so I could know if I hit my head in the car!

I always get to work early. I am most of the times there about 20-30 minutes early, but I would have been just a tad later today since I left a little later than normal. Therefore I think my coworkers realized very quickly that something was probably wrong when I didn’t show up for work. I had a missed phone call from supervisor on duty already at 3:58 and a message from my partner at 4:03.
I am very grateful that they took action as quickly as they did when I didn’t answer. They figured that if I haven’t showed up and I’m not answering the door there is something going on. I’m not really the kind of employee that just “gives a shit” in things. So they called Wills Point PD for a welfare check.

A welfare check… that sounds like knocking hard on the door to wake a lazy ass up that missed to turn the alarm clock on. I don’t think this officer expected to see someone laying outside in the cold temperatures (30F) when he got the call from dispatch. Yet, this is what he got, poor guy! And what could he do except wait for EMS?

He did whatever he could to wake me up and keep me warm. His calling on me (I think he got the name Josie from the caller who was Joseph) woke up my neighbor who also came with blankets. I don’t remember them being there. i found it all out from these videos when i got home.

It didn’t take long for EMS to get on scene. And yes… they knew me… very well.
As embarrassing it is to have this condition and have this happen, to be known by name; it is sometimes good as well. They know that this could potentially turn into something worse quickly. They know a little history, my baseline, where to take me, etc.

I remember people trying to take my jacket off and that hurt so bad. I remember the crew talking to me and I’m trying to answer the questions. The pain in my arms and legs is excruciating. I had that tingling feeling when your arm or leg goes to sleep in all extremities together with a burning sensation. My head was pounding and the world was spinning. Just fragments of memories. I must have gone in and out of consciousness.
My first clear memory is looking at someone wearing a flight suit. I could barely feel my arms or legs. Realized that they were about to fly me. Wondering what the heck happened that made them take that decision. They tried to warm me up as much as they could. Couldn’t get an IV of course… I was coming around and had more energy to answer their questions and I tried my best to be “a good patient”. I remember them opening the doors to get me out to the helicopter, the cold air but I don’t remember being loaded into the bird. I remember realizing being in the helicopter, I was getting warmer and warmer. The crew must have been cooked in there! I could start feeling my arms and legs again. It hurt. Burned. I tried to just relax. Stay awake despite being tired. I don’t know how long time the flight took but I got to see Tyler by night from the sky… I bet it will be an expensive view…

We landed at UT Main in Tyler. It is an advantage to work in EMS in this situation because I know what is going to happen. At this point I was at least somewhat back to normal in my head and could hold a conversation. The flight crew told me that once we had lifted my dear little heart had started doing some funny arrhythmias and that had surprised them a little. Yeah, I am a little unpredictable when I have an episode like this.

All routine stuff done. Blood work, they came from Biotronic to interrogate my pacemaker, I got a bag of fluid, tylenol for the pain and zofran for the nausea. Thankfully it all looked good and I was discharged at 9 am. Honestly, I wasn’t really comfortable with going home that soon but I didn’t have any choice, and it was probably for the better anyway. I was very dizzy. I was so grateful that one of our regional directors was able to give me a ride home.

When I got home I found something amazing. My glasses was laying next to my cars back tire, unharmed. Think about how dark it was! It would be so easy for anyone to by mistake step on them, but that didn’t happen!

I felt so bad for causing all this trouble. In the same time so humble and grateful to everyone who had helped me this morning.
I let the dogs out and I sat on the couch for about 3 hours without moving. I couldn’t. I had no strength, no energy. The world was spinning and my head pounding. I was able to send some texts updating people that I was home. Got the dogs inside and crawled to bed and succeeded to fall asleep.

The ER doctor thought I could go back to work the following morning so I had no choice. But that was going to be a challenge. I woke up at midnight with a pain in my body worse than anything. Not only in my arms and legs but all over. Thinking about it, it wasn’t really surprising since my body had done a marathon race the day prior and I am not trained for that. Laying outside for over an hour in 30 degrees is not to recommend! But I knew it was just stiff muscles and that kind of pain is usually best taken care of by moving. So a hot shower and some Excedrin and off to work I went.

The first couple of hours went okay. Thankfully most of our patient was able to walk. It is not until you are hurt that you realize how heavy our equipment is. Our monitor was the heaviest brick I’ve ever carried! But the more the clock was ticking the more pain I got. We were going to move a patient from the stretcher to the bed which is usually not a problem for me but I just couldn’t pull. I had no strength in my arms. It was so embarrassing to the patient. She said “sorry for being so heavy” and she wasn’t and I had to answer her that I had been in an accident the day prior so it didn’t have anything to do with her at all. Thankfully my partner understood and we swapped places and could move the patient without problems. But for me that was a huge failure mentally. I had to fight back the tears. The pain couldn’t be helped with what I had and I still had a couple of hours to go. I just wanted to throw in the towel and go home but that would mean that I had to go to the cardiologist and get cleared again to go back to work. This didn’t have to do anything with my heart, it was temporary muscle pain. As a grace of God (dispatch or the world maybe) we didn’t have any more calls. We posted at the same location for the rest of the shift.

I had a plan… I would take a hot shower and some pain meds and muscle relaxer when I got home and go to bed. I had three days off to recover and that should be enough. But… it turned out that I didn’t have any more pills. Absolutely nothing. It was like the world just crashed around me. Not only was I in pain but there was simply nothing I could do about it but go to bed and just try to find a position to relax.

My muscles are now (Saturday morning) much better. I still have a weird headache that I can’t get rid of but I can deal with it. I have had time to work with myself mentally as well. Because if you think that these episodes has no effect on you mentally, you are wrong. Not just because of the physical pain I had. But the amount of people that was involved in this. The people I worried, and the changes that had to be made because of me.

I have learned to live with this condition to 95%. I have accepted that this is something that can and will happen. When I say I am cold, it’s not just a regular cold… for me it’s a pain and my body has a hard time keeping my blood pressure up. When it can’t do it anymore, this happens. At that point in time I am so grateful for all the nice people around. The officer responding to the call, my neighbor coming and helping with blankets, Fire, EMS and flight crew, nurses, aids and doctors at the hospital. Coworkers that came in and took my shift with a short notice so the truck didn’t have to be shut down, and let me know that a ride home wouldn’t be a problem. There are not words enough to thank each and everyone who in some way helped me. Thank you!