First shift of 2022. I was sort of excited and sort of not. Didn’t think very much had changed over the weekend just because we now have a new year, and it hadn’t. Our regular truck is still in the shop so we are rolling around in one of the oldest trucks in the fleet. The seats are well used and my hip is right now screaming bloody murder. These trucks doesn’t have autoload either so we have to lift so much more than normal. But it is what it is.

To be a Monday, and the first day of the year, we weren’t as slammed as I expected. The hospitals were, but thankfully we successfully avoided the worst of the craziness. We had a transfer from a residence to The East Texas Hospice in Tyler aka Homeplace. It doesn’t matter that it is soon 2 years since mom passed away. I still have a hard time going there. And it’s absolutely not because of them. It’s a wonderful facility. But it is the last place where I saw my mom. And that is hard. Thankfully they don’t recognize me anymore. I have been there twice before and one of the times the doctor that took care of mom was the first face I saw when I got there and he recognized me right away and the second time a nurse knew who I was. But I’ve been able to avoid going there for a long time. Almost a year I believe.

Tried to keep the tears from coming but I couldn’t. Was just too painful. It was like all wounds and emotions just flared up at once. Even before we got there. I was glad my patient slept the entire trip. And my partner had no clue why I suddenly started crying after the call. Now he will be more prepared next time I guess. I miss mom so much! It was a cruel reminder of how lonely I am. Grateful for Twix and BamBam that gives me a meaning in life!