Wednesday morning. Woke up and everything was just fine. Had a morning mingle with Terrell Chamber of Commerce in the morning. So awesome to see everyone again! Came home and took the dogs for a walk. Both BamBam and Twix was totally crazy, maybe they could feel that something was off with me already then even though I didn’t feel it. Came home and did some cleaning before heading out on my 5 mile walk. Didn’t feel anything unusual when I left. But after 2.5 mile I got a weird headache. It was like an arrow came down from the top of my head and behind the eyes. I’ve had this pain once before and that didn’t end well so I became suspicious but I kept on walking. At this point I was as far away from home as I possibly could get. I started to feel dizzy and figured that this was not going to end well. Thinking about what to do next. I had two options. Either I turn around and go back, that is a more public road if something would happen and the EMS station in town is close by where I can stop and maybe someone is there. Or I can keep on walking, it is about 1.8 miles home which is not far but a more secluded road. I decided to keep on walking and try to make it home. I turned off the music and runkeeper, there was no way this would be a power walk anymore. It was just about getting home safe. A pain in my right side started to appear and I thought it was just some stupid side stitches. I made it about half a mile and realized I was not going to make it home. I needed help. I decided to call 911, it was better I had someone on the phone. I was at a private gravel road at this time and it would take hours before someone found me. I was mad at myself for not taking the other route. I remember the dispatcher answering the phone and I could tell her that I needed help to get home, where I was and that I had cardiac problems. Then it all got black.

The next thing I remember is someone talking to me. My vision is blurry but I can figure out a female police officer. She is rolling me on my side. My left arm is tingling. The world is spinning. I have no strength whatsoever. And it all goes black again.

I’m suddenly in an ambulance. People talking. I fight to wake up, realizing I have no choice than going to the hospital. My right arm is still numb, so is my leg. The headache and pain is still there. I can at least have a conversation for a little bit. The world is spinning and it feels like I have no control.
I hear sirens. When did we start moving? Shit, why are we running code? Where are we going? I can see the medic trying to do an IV in my arm but I can’t feel it. I come around more and more. Can start telling her more information. She downgrades and the sirens are turned off. I am relieved. Working EMS I know that when we go P1 it is BAD…

They took me to UT Health Tyler. Of course, we had to wait for almost an hour for a room. Finally got a room and the doctor came in and asked his question. My arm was now functioning but still tingling. They are trying to figure out the timeline. Some of the signs are stroke signs but the time for that is running out. On top of that I am allergic to the dye you need to use for the CT and need premedication to get it. Suddenly the doc is speeding things up and off we go to CT. He had already then told me that I would be admitted, no doubt about it. Not how I wanted to have my vacation.

Thankfully nothing was shown on the initial CT. They wanted to do an MRI and contacted Biotronic, my pacemaker manufacturer so they could come and put the device in MRI mode. Here is where the cluster begins. I don’t know exactly what happened because the communication with me was horrible. I had no clue what was going on more than I was going to be admitted. I didn’t get any pain medication for 7 hours. At that point I had enough and started to throw a fit and finally I got something for the headache. I was at the ER for 15 hours before finally getting a bed on the floor. At 6 am they finally came and got me. The nurses on the floor was amazing. They didn’t really know what was going on in regards to the MRI but they could see that an Echocardiogram and MRI was ordered and as well some therapy evaluations. And sure enough, a speech therapist came, an occupational therapist came and a physiotherapist came to evaluate me. All three of them had nothing to say. At this time my arm and leg was back to normal. I had also gotten another round of advil so the headache wasn’t as bad anymore.

Finally the hospitalist came in to talk to me. It is now around 11 am. Try to follow me here because I don’t really understand this myself.
The cardiologist had looked at the echocardiogram and the outer walls on my heart is touching the septum when it contracts which in some way is limiting the blood flow to my brain…

…and for that we will give you an antidepressant medication…
You said WHAT???? I am not a doctor, nor a nurse or a paramedic, I am only an EMT… but, how can an antidepressant medication help this? Well the side effect with this is that it is a muscle relaxer and it helps the heart muscle to relax…. Okay, so all my workout that I do to strengthen the heart and improve my EF is wrong? My heart needs to relax? No… I need to work out and the more the better. And the name of this condition or diagnose is… so I can research it a little bit more? I have to ask the cardiologist about that. He didn’t know. It was just what he was told by the cardiologist that looked at my echocardiogram.
I am sorry but I don’t understand this explanation. Isn’t the heart suppose to contract and why shouldn’t it touch the septum?
For years doctors has wanted to put a label on me as depressed. Is this the new way to get there? Anyone who met me can probably agree pretty fast that I am not depressed. I have emotions and feelings like anyone else and yes, fighting all this is tough and there are ups and downs. But I try to see things from the positive side.

And when it came to the MRI, it was cancelled. There was no reason to do it now because even if there was a stroke or TIA yesterday, the symptoms had resolved now and no treatment was going to happen anyway. And the pacemaker people couldn’t make it until today and that was not enough reason to keep me another night so I was going to be discharged. I was really disappointed in not having the MRI done. I had one done in 2017 and they found three small abnormalities that at the time probably didn’t have anything to do with the situation. But it was recommended that I followed up with another MRI in a year. Due to my pacemaker that had been denied. Not all radiologists and machines works with pacemakers even though I have an MRI compatible device. Now I had the opportunity to get that done and maybe get some answers but that chance just went away again. I was so close. My insurance won’t accept it as an outpatient procedure and there is no way I can afford it myself! Answers will still have to wait. It feels like 2 step backwards.

Where do I go from here? To my primary doctor? I have an awesome doctor but I don’t believe there is much he can do in this situation. My regular cardiologist say it is nothing else they can do. I have a follow up appointment there next week and I will bring this up with them. I’ve been to a neurologist and they say it’s not there either… I feel very lost in this situation. No one seems to know or have answers or even willing to listen to me anymore. I’ve said it before and it will be a “oh shit” moment when my body simply had enough and whatever happens that day… I hope I can make it through. But that’s when it will be said “how could we miss it?”

I got discharged and thanks to awesome co-workers made it home to the dogs. A friend from my vets office had been at my house earlier to feed them and made sure they were okay, in case I wouldn’t be discharged. I feel okay, will take an easy day today and try to just think about what to do next. Do some research… I have two days left of the vacation and won’t try to do anything more than I need to.

I would like to take the opportunity to thank the dispatcher at Van Zandt County Sheriff’s office. I saw on my phone that she had been on the line with me for 25 minutes! The responding officers from Wills Point PD, the first responders from Wills Point FD as well as the crew on M10 at Christus EMS. Thank you for all you do, all your help and efforts for the community and the residents! Being in EMS myself, I know this was just another call for you but for the individual that needs help it means more than you realize. It was a hard decision to make that call and accept that I was not going to make it home by myself but all of you came and went up and beyond! Thank you from the bottom of my (weird) heart!