I don’t remember what I did last week but I know every minute of September 11, 2001. It was a very emotional day. A weird roller coaster.

My grandfather and I took a roadtrip that morning. A road trip that was going to change my life. We were going to see a farm outside Vetlanda. A farm that later on would be my new home for 5 years, my business and my dream.

We were on our way home, it is just after 3pm. We are having the most hilarious conversations, we are singing and laughing so we are crying. I wish you all were there because it was just an amazing time with my grandfather, one of those I would remember for ever regardless of what happened.
We stopped at a gasstation outside Linköping and when we pulled in we could feel it was something weird going on. I was wondering if it was a robbery in the area or something. We could see the people inside was all just standing still and staring at a screen. I went inside and no one moved. It was dead silence. I looked up at the screen and this is what I see

I am in a little town in the middle of Sweden. On the other side of the world. When I saw the images on the screen, knowing this is real, this is live, this is not a joke, it was like someone stabbed me physically in my stomach. I instantly got so nauseous. My grandfather came inside and joined us in staring at the screen that now repeatedly showed the images. He was as moved and touched as all of us. Never have I become so American and Patriotic in my life as I did that very second. I was blessed to not know anyone to my knowledge that was in New York but it didn’t matter. The helplessness that we felt all the way to the little town of Linköping, the disbelief, anger, rage. The unanswered questions that immediately started to be spoken in the room as people started to wrap their minds back to normal, realizing they were not alone at this gasstation. We all looked at each other, shaking our heads.

We paid for our gas and got some drinks and snacks and went back to the car. Turned on the radio. The once so happy and cheerful car was now a quiet, somber trip. I called mom. She cried. I cried. Here we were, just about to change our lives, buy the farm of our dreams and we see this on the news, Mom had an office in New York but was at the time home thankfully. She knew people. At the time she worked for Ericsson. Her job at just flipped to something she had no clue what was about to come.

I must say, something that Sweden always have been top notch with is international newsmedia. I believe that the Swedes were one of the first getting information out to the public and 95% of it was correct, which is amazing if you think about what chaos that it was! I emailed friends around the world that I have gotten to know from traveling, making sure they were okay and it seemed like I had more information than they did here in the country where it happened. But again, it was just chaos.

19 years later. It still hurts to see the pictures. I still get nauseous. I remember the gasstation and all the emotions. The quietness. It was just surreal. One weird emotional roller coaster.