One thing my mom taught me at an early age was to never ever give up. You need to have tried every single option and path there is. She said:

“Imagine a tree. Your goal is to grasp the leaves that is closest to the sun. You start from the roots and make your way up. You choose a branch that looks thick enough to bare your weight but as you walk on it, another branch shows up. Should you keep on walking on the branch you are on or try this new option? If you don’t try and fight you may loose a great opportunity and most likely you can go back to the beginning and try the branch you were on. But as long as you fight for your goal, you will one day grasp that leaf that is closest to the sun.”

Those words has been with me for many many years and they mean even more now when mom is not here anymore. There will always be choices that has to be made, every day. But as long as you know what you want, nothing is impossible.

Last week was a rough week. Not feeling very good for several days, passed out at the doctors office, but my labs was at least great! Told that there was no physiological reason for me to feel what I feel, I should just keep living a “normal” life. Was home from work on Saturday to adjust my body to the new meds. So far just a little nauseousness has been associated with them.
Woke up this morning, a little dizzy and still nauseous but I decided that I can’t keep on listening to my body and adjusting myself to it all the time. Not saying that I won’t at all but I need to push through this. There are two options of what can happen. 1. My body adjusts to my mind and it will all be nothing after a while and it may be the new awesome normal. That is the option I prefer and want and that is my goal! Or 2. I simply collapse hard and maybe at that point the smart doctors will find what is actually going on and fix it. That is not what I prefer to happen but that was exactly the route when I had my thyroidectomy in 2003.

With that said, I had to go back to my workout schedule. There are no excuses, I am going back to work tomorrow and I need to be able to do my normal routines. Said and done.

I aimed to do 4 miles or more but the cemetery was closed and then I changed my mind… I am anyway going to the gym tonight and I could keep up the pace pretty well after all… any pace around 14:00 min/mile is good for me

So to all of y’all that think I am totally nuts crazy and stupid… Maybe I am. But I am at least fighting to be better. I will not see myself defeated by a condition. I never chose this. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink alcohol nor soda for that matter, I don’t chew tobacco, I don’t do drugs. I do eat chocolate now and then, but I can’t blame that for all this crap. I am just trying to live the best life I can, and I will continue to fight for it!